Reflections

I read a quote recently that said " if you ever find the fortune of finding the way of life you love, you have to have the courage to live it"

That sort of answers the internal conflict I have been having lately. I guess most people my age are going through this stage of searching and questioning yourself. Am I heading the right path? How will this affect me five years or so from now? How can I succeed? Is there something more in store for me if I do this? Should I even continue this? If yes, why? If no, where will I go and what will I do next?

I believe I am one of those fortunate ones who have found the way of life I want to live. I love my job as a conductor and I love being a trainee of one of the best choirs in the world. I love teaching students who are very enthusiastic to learn. I love learning and making music. I love having gigs every now and then. I love that despite everything that I'm doing, I can still find time to blog, Facebook or twitter. I love that I more or less am in control of my time and each day Is always different from the other and everyday, I learn something new. I love performing every no and then, despite the pressure. The lifestyle I have now is perfect for me... If only it could pay for my bills and eventually sustain a family, I could live this kind of life probably my whole lifetime. It's very fulfilling. Very stressful, but fulfilling.

I wish we lived in a world where we can all find and do whatever we were meant to become without having to think of earning enough. I wish we we could all be whatever we were meant to become. But the world isn't as ideal as that and as the quote said, one must find the courage to live the life you love in a very imperfect world.

One must have the courage. Meaning, it is not easy for we have so many fears and doubts.

Until now I still bear those fears and doubts. But Im doing it anyway, I don't know. Right now, I'm simply enjoying the ride.