Just came from a piano concert of Maam Luci and fellow students. It was so inspiring, I suddenly had the urge to go to the piano and practice seriously again. I particularly superliked the Bernstein West Side Story for 2 pianos. Panalo!! But man, the rhythm was HARD! Rhythmically challenging. Galing nila! I really wana study that piece. If I'm not meant for theater, I should at least be able to play the music! Haha.
Thats what I can't understand about myself. Its like I have love-hate relationship with piano. Sometimes I am moved so much by piano playing and there are times when I just want to vomit over the piano and bang it until I break a string. Right now, I think I've missed the feeling of breezing through the keys as I make breathtaking music.
My dad arrived from Ilo ilo today and I was happy to see him. He's not as strict as he was before with me ever since I graduated so I find it easier to live with him under one roof. Hahaha. Thank goodness for my diploma and medal! If thats all it serves me, that would very much suffice. I remember one time back in 3rd year college, I wanted to go to a friend's party but I didn't know how to ask permission from him. I figured since I felt old enough and I was already in college, I needn't ask anymore, just simply inform. And oh boy, little did I know how much it blew away my chances.
Me: Daddy...
Dad: oh?
Me: May party po yung friend ko mamayang gabi. Pupunta lang po ako dun.
Dad: ANONG PUPUNTA KA?!?! ABA! Bakit hindi ka na nagpapaalam *hysterical*
And the rest is history! You could only imagine what happened. HAHA
And theres a while lot more daddy stories like that from me! :)) I guess I can understand him because like him, I also have tendencies to be very praning, controlling and nerbyosa...so yeah, in that aspect, I can relate to him. I think I'll be somewhat like him when I have kids of my own. Poor innocent children...Hahah. Poor innocent husband also! LOL!
Anyway, I'm just glad he's (almost) over with that stage since I've graduated and he's actually very supportive with my plans for the future (which does not involve Madrigal and taking masters... x_x) Havent told him yet about those...We'll see.
So far, the things I am doing now are giving me fulfillment. Like conducting the girls in the choir, teaching piano and getting gigs every now and then. Hmm, I just don't know how long this artist life will last. I really have no idea. Right now, I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying to relish and enjoy every moment of it and simply going with wherever place it takes me. Kinda fun, but not all the time. There are days too, when I bum around and do nothing. Its kind of extreme really. Either I'm really busy with performances or I'm almost idle.
This year so far has been a year of dreams coming true. Graduation, Madz and having a choir of my own to train and conduct. The only thing that hasn't been fulfilled on my list is my dream to be part of a professional musical. I'm on the brink of giving up. Its totally different from the culture I was honed in - chorale world, classical piano and voice. Here, how you look is important. Aside from having the talent,you have to BE and LOOK the part - which I guess, if youre just starting off, is hard to find or create. I mean, you can't be casted in a play where they're looking for foreign looking people. Or how can you cast as a leading lady if you're ugly? Or if you're extremely fat? (unless siguro you're in Hairspray. hehe) Theater is a completely different world from music, though I must it has some similarities also. I have much to learn in that craft and I'd love to experience being part of a big production if given the chance. But if not, then maybe it just isn't for me. I don't know. I believe that if you have it, you have it. If you don't, well, you'd have to work extra extra to the nth power hard if you want it that much. Like in music, there are people who are just naturally tone deaf. There are those who try and manage to succeed in singing in tune. But you cant really expect them to be recording artists. Oh wait. That happens in the Philippines. LOL. Theres auto tune na rin pala like what that Rebecca Black did. Heheh. But thats not the point. Point is, well, you can only go so far with what God and nature has given you. There are some exceptions though. I guess the question really is, how far are you willing to go and risk to be that exception?
Gosh. Its only been half of the year and so much has happened. SO MUCH. It scares me and excites me at the same time to think about what awaits for the 2nd half of the year. Hopefully all will only get better from this point. :) Lets hope Mother Earth has calmed down and gives us more pleasant seasons the following months.
Which reminds me, I wonder how Japan is doing now. I really hope they are quickly recovering from the unbelievable calamity that happened last March. Makes you really value each person you love more and inspires you to be more compassionate and loving. Everyday is a blessing. My perspective changed dramatically ever since then. I try as much as possible to always show my love and care, specially to my family and friends, every chance I get. Coz really, you never know when its the end for you or for them.
Thats all for now. Ciao!
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